The Bin Ladens of Boksburg
There’s a trim, two-storey house at the end of a cul-de-sac on the East Rand. The facade is ordinary: railway house meets Boere-baroque. If you could see it, that is. The property is surrounded by a...
View ArticleThe bogus war in defence of the Muslim punani
The “charge” seems almost cartoonish. A wild-haired, loony old eccentric with a penchant for buxom female bodyguards — dishing out handfuls of blue pills to his troops with their morning orange juice....
View ArticleThe brigade for boiling and burning blacks
Just north of here, the tree of liberty is being liberally watered — not with the blood of patriots, but with the blood of blacks. And also unlike Jefferson’s dictum, it isn’t just occasionally, but...
View ArticleThere’s a killer in my family
He’s doing 25 years. Then there’s another petty thief cousin who’s been “inside” for pilfering a bottle of Panache from Clicks — for his girlfriend, when he was down and out a few years ago. There’s...
View ArticleAirbrushing the boesman
Just what does a coloured have to do these days — short of knocking out the rest of his teeth or picking up the banjo — to get noticed in South African national debates? One really wishes the...
View ArticleCalling out a koek
One supposes it’s nice to know we aren’t the only ones who dissolve into giggles whenever anyone mentions koek. Only this time, it really is a koek: red velvet sponge by the look of it. Meant to...
View ArticleHow the gogos got their groove back
It’s exciting enough to have me scrambling for the number of my old tailor in Oriental Plaza. Granted, those gigantic bib collars are a bit seventies, and the skirts are a bit mumsy. The hint of...
View ArticleThe Arab first lady’s burden
The woman, yet again, has become a political football in Middle-Eastern politics. One wishes the area experts would make up their minds: just yesterday we were being told the Muslim wife was a...
View ArticleThe convenient democrats
To hear former Cabinet ministers from the salad days of the Thabo Mbeki presidency speaking of the “erosion of democracy” is as rich as a “Save the Angus Cow” campaign run by Ronald McDonald. It’s...
View ArticleNo country for Chicken Littles
“The erosion of institutions” has become something of a buzzword. Add to this the “paralysis in crucial institutions”, and “institutional fabric being unwound”, and you’d be forgiven for thinking you...
View ArticleStovepipe pants and phutu plaits
Mr G was jug-eared and wore towelling socks with Barker moccasins. His moustache was more Yosemite Sam than Magnum PI. On good days, he wore a canary-yellow tracksuit in keeping with his role as the...
View ArticleDiff’rent strokes for Muslim folks?
The Justice Department, when it comes to matters of the Bearded Folk, has the patience of Job. This, as the deadline for comments on the Muslim Marriages Bill has been extended — again. Not that this...
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